Forgiving Myself

Sometimes I have a big problem. I can't forgive myself. I have very high expectations, and when I don't achieve my desired results, I will beat myself up about it. This could last for 48 hours, it could last for years. It could be a personal situation, or a work situation. The way my brain …

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I’m a Fainter

Last weekend I fainted while sitting in a pedicure chair. An ambulance was called. My daughter was a rockstar (which is good, because I now know she can navigate a situation like that without freaking). I was checked out by the paramedics, and then went to see a doctor who ordered some bloodwork. I had …

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Chewing The Skin Around My Nails

Yes. I chew the skin around my fingernails. It's a stress/anxiety solution to "getting rid" of my feelings. I will chew them, sometimes, until they bleed. Especially when my anxiety levels are high. My new meds have helped with the daily chewing. I am starting to slow my roll. I am now wearing fake nails …

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A New Beginning

Some changes are coming. This is one of them. Crazy Mama Runs is now Screaming Into The Void. Many things have changed over this past year. It was time for the blog to have a new name. The site will get a redesign, but it will still be the same old me. I will still …

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Clearing Out The Cobwebs

There comes a time, when I am "better", that I reevaluate a lot of things in my life: Why am I holding onto so many things? What purpose do they serve? Why am I holding onto this anger from 10 years ago? Lately, I have been pulling down those cobwebs that I have been looking …

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Upgrading My Toolbox (Because Suffering is NOT an Option For Me)

Today I was able to see my doctor. I am very lucky, because I called this morning and got in this afternoon. I know I've been off kilter for quite some time now (months really) and I've been at the edge of the rabbit hole for about the same amount of time. I had been …

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Not Racing…On Purpose

As most of you know, I am taking this year off from racing. It wasn't an easy decision and I went back and forth with it, until my body finally had enough, and yelled STOP! I am staying away from everything race related this year (well, I'm going to try) because I just need to. …

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