Looking Back, and Moving Forward…Again

My first race I ran my first race (a 10k) 3 weeks before I was diagnosed with depression. I was numb. I ran out of pure spite. I had no idea I was on the road to a breakdown. I thought this was just a finish line. I never thought running would be the thing …

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Is This The New Normal?

I guess I am getting used to this new normal. It’s still surreal, this world we are currently living in. I live for the sunny days. Even when I am having a bad day on a sunny day, it doesn’t seem so awful. Still thankful to be able to work from home. It keeps my …

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I’m Still Here

I'm still medicated. I'm still fighting. Things have been hectic lately. Work has been absolutely overwhelming. Life is all over thr place. I was out yesterday to do some Christmas shopping. This is the earliest I have started it. I am feeling pretty good about having it started. It has made it easier on my …

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This is Not a Competition

Everyone who has a mental illness suffers. Everyone who has a mental illness has good days and bad. Some will have more bad than good. But one thing that really bothers me is how some people, when being open and honest about where they are in their journey, attract those who seem to think it …

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Keeping it Real

This is Mental Illness Awareness Week, and I decided that every day, on my personal Facebook page, I would write something about my experience with mental illness. I did my "hey this is what I am doing" post on Sunday night. I did "hey here are my meds" on Monday. Today (Tuesday), well today was …

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Body Image & Mental Illness

(This post is about MY experience/struggle with body image and depression/anxiety.) See this picture? I posted it last week on my Facebook page. I have a love hate relationship with this photo, because the thing I see first, is my back bulges from the racer back running bra I am wearing. At first, I didn't …

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Following My Path

After unpacking some of my shit, it was time to forge a new path. (I am not done unpacking all my shit. Far from it.) I need to start following my own path. For years I have been following someone else's path, or the path that I thought was expected of me. I am still …

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Unpacking My Shit: Plant Style

So one of the things that has come from the unpacking of the shit has been how uncomfortable my apartment has been feeling (you know, besides the messy depression mess that seems to never go away, bastard). I have plants in my temporary office space, and I realized just how much more comfortable it feels …

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Unpacking My Shit

Here I am. It's been a while since I sat down and unpacked some of my boxes. Not talking the physical kind. I am talking about the mental kind. I have filled many boxes over the years with all of my unpleasant thoughts and situations. I've started to unpack these boxes lately, and it hasn't …

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My Body is Changing and I Need a Support Group

I'll be 47 in a few months. My body is starting to work against me now. No matter what I do, it's like I am moving through molasses. My days are already a battle with my brain. Now it's a battle with my body. I am still running. Still physically active. My body is in …

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