I don’t really know how to write. Most of the time I just sit and type, hoping that what is coming out of my brain makes sense. Let’s face it, a mentally ill brain is a lot like scrambled eggs. A bunch of thoughts all shaken up and then plopped down on a plate, and …
Tag: battle within
Update and The New Kitten
Mr. Eggs Benedict It’s been a rough go this past little while. Some med adjustments for my daughter have happened, with one as recent as I sit and write this post. I can report that she is doing better than she was, but we are still in an uphill battle. We now have some recommendations …
Feels Like a Circle
Mental illness has seasons, well, mine does at least. It’s like a circle. I’m in the middle, watching the seasons go by. I can’t touch the outer ring because I am stuck in place. I can’t make the circle bigger, or break the ring. I just sit, and watch it. The seasons that are out …
Shedding Those Insecurities
It’s not easy. I am having a hard time letting go of the insecurities that keep holding me back. They’re like a warm blanket I am afraid to take off in the winter. Knowing I will be cold and vulnerable after the cover comes off. It’s making me feel restless, like I want to jump …
What I’m Leaving Behind
Well, here we are. 2022. I’ve decided there are things I am leaving behind in 2021, because they no longer serve me. I am keeping myself open to good things. Leaving behind my fear of not being good enough to receive the good things. I am owning my faults. Leaving behind the thought that I …
And She Did It
It’s been a few weeks since my 10km race. It’s taken me that long to process this journey, one that I needed to go on to find my running mojo again. Running with Team Myles was an amazing experience. One I will never forget. I’ve made some new running friends, and I’ve even joined a …
Oh My God, Frig Off Already
Imposter Syndrome. It’s riding my ass hard today. I’m also restless and annoyed. These days are hard, because the inner conflict takes over and all I want to do is stay in bed and eat crap. Thankfully I had things to do that made me get out of bed: a Microsoft Teams meeting, laundry, and …
Team Myles Ambassador
I’m a Team Myles Ambassador for 2021! I am very excited for this opportunity, because I had fallen off of the consistency wagon when it came to running. My mental health was suffering as a result. When I saw the moment applications were open, I jumped on it, not knowing if it would be accepted. …
Running? Really?
I ran an actual “in person” race recently. It was a small event, with three different distances (4km, 6km, 8km). It was a lot of beach running. I did the 4km distance because who am I kidding, my running has been subpar lately. I knew in my inner being that the smallest distance would be …
Weighted
I’ve gained weight. Gone up 4 sizes as a matter of fact. It’s happened over the past few years. As part of my journey to self acceptance, I’ve struggled with this extra weight on my body. Societal issues with body image has done a number on my head, and it hasn’t been easy accepting where …
Screaming Into the Void 