We’re Back at Square One

Yesterday was the start of a new month.  We spent some time at the beach and soaked up some more summer (because summer isn't over until later in September - fight me). On our way home, my Buggie was super cranky.  She was fine at the beach. A switch had gone off in her, and …

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Following My Path

After unpacking some of my shit, it was time to forge a new path. (I am not done unpacking all my shit. Far from it.) I need to start following my own path. For years I have been following someone else's path, or the path that I thought was expected of me. I am still …

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Unpacking My Shit: Plant Style

So one of the things that has come from the unpacking of the shit has been how uncomfortable my apartment has been feeling (you know, besides the messy depression mess that seems to never go away, bastard). I have plants in my temporary office space, and I realized just how much more comfortable it feels …

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Unpacking My Shit

Here I am. It's been a while since I sat down and unpacked some of my boxes. Not talking the physical kind. I am talking about the mental kind. I have filled many boxes over the years with all of my unpleasant thoughts and situations. I've started to unpack these boxes lately, and it hasn't …

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Struggling With Self Worth

This is a daily struggle for me. Part of my mental illness is a feeling of worthlessness. I doubt myself on an hourly basis. I never think I am good enough. On my good days I can gather up the gumption to kick that thought to the curb. But dammit it's hard. When I was …

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My Body is Changing and I Need a Support Group

I'll be 47 in a few months. My body is starting to work against me now. No matter what I do, it's like I am moving through molasses. My days are already a battle with my brain. Now it's a battle with my body. I am still running. Still physically active. My body is in …

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Bluenose 15k

I received a fantastic pep talk close to the end of my 15km race on June 9th. It reminded me that even though I thought I had given up, that I could push through that last little bit and cross the finish line. Running is a coping skill for me. I can hash things out …

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It Can’t Rain All the Time, or Can It?

I am pretty sure it's been raining for eleventy billion days. (At least that's what it feels like. There have been scattered days of sunshine, but it seems Spring has taken to hibernating.) I am a solar powered human. I need the sun to lift my spirits. Rainy, cold days are soul sucking demons. My …

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I’m Pretty Sure My Fingers Are F@&ED

I've talked about this before. How I chew on my fingers when I am super stressed or full of life cramping anxiety. Well, GUESS WHAT. My new meds have evened me out with my anxiety, but I still chew my fingers like my life is going to end, goddammit. I also had to cut my …

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I’m Still Tired, Dammit

It is finally sunny (and will be for more than a day) and I am still tired I am usually a solar powered human. The rain depleted me so very badly the last week. It's going to take me a while to power back up, even with the extra vitamin D I took last week. …

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