I Don’t Know

I don’t know a lot right now. I don’t know how long COVID-19 will keep it’s grip on the Earth. I don’t know how long I will be working from home (but I am thankful I have the opportunity to do so). I don’t know how I am getting through each day without breaking down. …

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I’m Scared to Death

Just back from Cuba. I am well rested and full of anxiety! On Monday, I am starting a new position. I will be the Manager of my group. To say I’m not scared would be a big fat lie. I’m scared to death. It’s not that I will be working with a whole new group …

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Because I Need to be Reminded: Why I Run

If I had seen someone running (summer or winter) around 11 years ago I would have told you those people were nuts. Who would do that to themselves? I was a self proclaimed couch potato, and a single mom, working a stressful job. I hd been to the gym off and on, but it never …

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I Will Always be Sick

Always. Be. Sick. I finally swallowed that, and it hurt. I will always have depression (and anxiety). It may not rule my day to day, but it is always there. It was a scary thing to say out loud to myself. Let's face it, mental illness is scary. Why would I want to admit that …

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Dialing Into My Brain

Today, I had planned to wake up early and get to the gym. There was a spin class I wanted to go to and then do a 30 minute strength training sesh. I must have turned my alarm off in my sleep. I slept in. Then my brain went into overdrive. It was a little …

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Digging Deep

I am usually not a "word for my year" person per se. I have done it on occasion, to motivate myself and give some direction to my mindset. I have been sitting back and really doing some deep thinking these past couple of weeks. Then it hit me. That's my word. Deep. I made a …

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Don’t Change

Please, don't change. You don't need a "new you" for the New Year. Be unapologetically you. Every year. Do things FOR you, not because you "need to", or "have-to-because-this-person-said-I-am-not-my-best-self", but because you want to do it, for you. You are the Captain of your own ship. Everyone's ship, and course, are different. Be kind to …

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Good Days, Bad Days

Sometimes it's good hour, bad hour. Good minute, bad minute. I've been alternating my good days and bad days lately. I don't know if it's the early darkness or just the way things are right now. On my bad days I do what I can. If it means missing out on something I had plans …

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I’m Still Here

I'm still medicated. I'm still fighting. Things have been hectic lately. Work has been absolutely overwhelming. Life is all over thr place. I was out yesterday to do some Christmas shopping. This is the earliest I have started it. I am feeling pretty good about having it started. It has made it easier on my …

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This is Not a Competition

Everyone who has a mental illness suffers. Everyone who has a mental illness has good days and bad. Some will have more bad than good. But one thing that really bothers me is how some people, when being open and honest about where they are in their journey, attract those who seem to think it …

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