Forgiving Myself

Sometimes I have a big problem. I can't forgive myself. I have very high expectations, and when I don't achieve my desired results, I will beat myself up about it. This could last for 48 hours, it could last for years. It could be a personal situation, or a work situation. The way my brain …

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I’m a Fainter

Last weekend I fainted while sitting in a pedicure chair. An ambulance was called. My daughter was a rockstar (which is good, because I now know she can navigate a situation like that without freaking). I was checked out by the paramedics, and then went to see a doctor who ordered some bloodwork. I had …

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Clearing Out The Cobwebs

There comes a time, when I am "better", that I reevaluate a lot of things in my life: Why am I holding onto so many things? What purpose do they serve? Why am I holding onto this anger from 10 years ago? Lately, I have been pulling down those cobwebs that I have been looking …

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Waiting to Come Out On The Other Side

I am into week 2 of the booster (Abilify) for my anti-depressants. It's been a bit of ride, but not necessarily a bad one. The first week: I was restless and I couldn't sit still. I am still a bit restless, bit that is starting to subside. I also found it hard to get to …

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Is It Getting Easier?

I can't say it's getting "easier". Getting out of bed isn't a struggle. I am starting to be more involved in the things I enjoy doing. I don't feel as hopeless. I am still having issues with my anxiety. I had to buy a pill organizer thingie so I could look at it and see …

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I Was Afraid

So let's just dive in. One of the things that I am afraid of, when I go on my medication, is that I am going to "lose myself". It's part of how my brain tries to trick me into thinking I don't need the medication. In the back of mind I KNOW it won't turn …

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If It Makes You Happy

Here we are. One month in. I had my check in today with my doctor. We had a good sit down, and even though the tides are slowly turning, there are still some issues. One being: my anxiety is being a jerkwad. I go back again in six weeks. We may have to supplement my …

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