Good Days, Bad Days

Sometimes it's good hour, bad hour. Good minute, bad minute. I've been alternating my good days and bad days lately. I don't know if it's the early darkness or just the way things are right now. On my bad days I do what I can. If it means missing out on something I had plans …

Continue reading Good Days, Bad Days

Bluenose 15k

I received a fantastic pep talk close to the end of my 15km race on June 9th. It reminded me that even though I thought I had given up, that I could push through that last little bit and cross the finish line. Running is a coping skill for me. I can hash things out …

Continue reading Bluenose 15k

Forgiving Myself

Sometimes I have a big problem. I can't forgive myself. I have very high expectations, and when I don't achieve my desired results, I will beat myself up about it. This could last for 48 hours, it could last for years. It could be a personal situation, or a work situation. The way my brain …

Continue reading Forgiving Myself

I’m a Fainter

Last weekend I fainted while sitting in a pedicure chair. An ambulance was called. My daughter was a rockstar (which is good, because I now know she can navigate a situation like that without freaking). I was checked out by the paramedics, and then went to see a doctor who ordered some bloodwork. I had …

Continue reading I’m a Fainter

Chewing The Skin Around My Nails

Yes. I chew the skin around my fingernails. It's a stress/anxiety solution to "getting rid" of my feelings. I will chew them, sometimes, until they bleed. Especially when my anxiety levels are high. My new meds have helped with the daily chewing. I am starting to slow my roll. I am now wearing fake nails …

Continue reading Chewing The Skin Around My Nails

Clearing Out The Cobwebs

There comes a time, when I am "better", that I reevaluate a lot of things in my life: Why am I holding onto so many things? What purpose do they serve? Why am I holding onto this anger from 10 years ago? Lately, I have been pulling down those cobwebs that I have been looking …

Continue reading Clearing Out The Cobwebs

Upgrading My Toolbox (Because Suffering is NOT an Option For Me)

Today I was able to see my doctor. I am very lucky, because I called this morning and got in this afternoon. I know I've been off kilter for quite some time now (months really) and I've been at the edge of the rabbit hole for about the same amount of time. I had been …

Continue reading Upgrading My Toolbox (Because Suffering is NOT an Option For Me)

What I am Learning

I started my yoga journey to slowly get my body back to some fluid movement after beating it up for many years with my running. I have been learning a lot, about my body and about myself. I am becoming more present (although on my not so good days this can still be a struggle) …

Continue reading What I am Learning

It’s Not Always A Choice

I wake up every day and check in with whatever emotion is at the top of the list. I acknowledge it. If I can, I ride it out. I am more willing nowadays to face what I am feeling and accept it. This doesn't work for everyone, and I acknowledge that. I believe that accepting …

Continue reading It’s Not Always A Choice

I Have Magic Socks

These socks right here are magic socks. I wore them to bed one night last week. When I woke up the next morning, this is where they were. NO LONGER ON MY FEET! They were not on my bedroom floor. They were not in bed with me. They were on my body pillow, laid out …

Continue reading I Have Magic Socks