Forgiving Myself

Sometimes I have a big problem. I can't forgive myself. I have very high expectations, and when I don't achieve my desired results, I will beat myself up about it. This could last for 48 hours, it could last for years. It could be a personal situation, or a work situation. The way my brain …

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I’m a Fainter

Last weekend I fainted while sitting in a pedicure chair. An ambulance was called. My daughter was a rockstar (which is good, because I now know she can navigate a situation like that without freaking). I was checked out by the paramedics, and then went to see a doctor who ordered some bloodwork. I had …

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Chewing The Skin Around My Nails

Yes. I chew the skin around my fingernails. It's a stress/anxiety solution to "getting rid" of my feelings. I will chew them, sometimes, until they bleed. Especially when my anxiety levels are high. My new meds have helped with the daily chewing. I am starting to slow my roll. I am now wearing fake nails …

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A New Beginning

Some changes are coming. This is one of them. Crazy Mama Runs is now Screaming Into The Void. Many things have changed over this past year. It was time for the blog to have a new name. The site will get a redesign, but it will still be the same old me. I will still …

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A Booster for My Brain

Today was my six week check in with my doc to see where my anxiety was at. We sat down and talked about how things were, and how the additional methods I have been using to keep my anxiety under control have not been working like they have in the past. My depression has gotten …

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Is It Getting Easier?

I can't say it's getting "easier". Getting out of bed isn't a struggle. I am starting to be more involved in the things I enjoy doing. I don't feel as hopeless. I am still having issues with my anxiety. I had to buy a pill organizer thingie so I could look at it and see …

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I Was Afraid

So let's just dive in. One of the things that I am afraid of, when I go on my medication, is that I am going to "lose myself". It's part of how my brain tries to trick me into thinking I don't need the medication. In the back of mind I KNOW it won't turn …

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