I really love sleep.
As a matter of fact, I am in bed right now as I type this.
It is 8:15 on a rainy Monday night.
As much as I love my sleep, it can become a problem.
It can be a problem because I have depression. Depression also loves sleep. Depression would like me to sleep the day away.
Depression sleep is different from a good nights sleep. Depression sleep whispers how I am not good enough to enter the day and be with people. It whispers how easy it would be to just stay put, and keep my worthless ass where it is.
This differs from Anxiety sleep. Anxiety sleep is broken. It is tossing and turning. It is worry and rumination. It is weird dreams that wake me up. It tires me out and makes me lethargic.
I know what you’re thinking…..how can I love sleep?? Because there are nights that I close my eyes and drift off. I may still have weird dreams, but they’re not scary. They’re just your garden variety weird dreams.
I also love Vacation sleep. That is when I do some of my best sleeping. It’s knowing I have nowhere to go and nothing to get up for. I can sleep as late as I want.
Weekend sleep is good, but short lived. I can get some good sleeping in, but I feel guilty if I sleep in too long, and miss out on weekend stuff.
So, I still love sleep, and I am working on getting better sleep so I’m a more well rested human.
To that end, I will say good night.
May you have a restful sleep.
(I am not sure what kind of sleep I’ll have, but here’s to hoping it’s a good one!)