One thing I have come to accept is that mental illness is NOT a personal failure.
I have felt that way for years. That I had somehow caused it. That I was responsible for it “showing up”. I also put the blame on myself when my daughter was diagnosed. It must have been my fault. What did I do to let this happen?
The answer is nothing. I did nothing to “let it happen”. Chemical imbalances are just that. Imbalances. My brain needed help. I needed help. My daughter needed help.
Once I was able to make peace with this, then it became a little easier to fight the negative voice inside my head. Do I always win? No. But I try my hardest to not listen when it tells me what a failure I am.
I am who I am, and I will always try to share my good and bad days. People need to know that just because I appear happy go lucky, it doesn’t mean I am not hiding the fact that I struggling. On my bad days I am trying my hardest to fight “the voice”.
Sometimes I will admit defeat, and even though it may be hard, I let myself go through what I need to go through. Keeping the bad days at bay are not always the best solution, and we shouldn’t feel bad for having them.
Being able to navigate this thing called depression is not easy, but I’m doing my best. My daughter is doing her best. I know that everyone diagnosed with mental illness is doing their best.
We’ve made it through some of our worst days, and we’ll make it through many more.
We’re survivors. Not failures.
Don’t ever forget that.