So, I recently took a little break from all of my social media for a couple of weeks so I could focus on some things that needed my attention. It was well worth it, and I think I will do it a little more often.
While I was off, I started to evaluate my priorities, and take note of what was important to me. This lead to me having to accept some things about my life, and about myself. It was a humbling experience, but definitely worth it.
I started to accept the fact that my body is changing, just like it did when I went through puberty. Sucky part is, nothing really prepares you for it, because every person’s experience is different. I have struggled with body image in the past, and it played a big role in my mental illness. Part of me accepting who I am, right now, was to accept my weight gain. Society has really given us a big mind screw when it comes to what we “should” or “shouldn’t” look like. I have learned to love the body I am in. I am still active. Still healthy. I am just a different size now.
I am also accepting my flaws. We all have them, and by ignoring them, I was doing myself no favours. So, I accept them and work with what I have. I am still pretty awesome, flaws and all.
I am really, honestly, and truly, accepting my mental illness and all the thing that come with it: the depressive episodes, the chewing the skin around my nails, the self negative talk, the anxiety attacks, and all the other fun things that come with it. I have to. It’s a part of me like everything else. When I am feeling good I try to push it away, and that is not working. Once a depressive episode hits, I am super hard on myself. By accepting it, baddies and all, I can work better with it, I hope.
And, I accept all my decisions in life, good or bad. The good ones have given me great things, memories, and experiences, and the bad ones (even the REALLY bad ones) have taught me lessons. I have to stop regretting things in my past, for all of my decisions have brought me to where I am, in this moment.
There are LOTS of other things I have come to accept, but then this blog post would be a short novella, and I wouldn’t do that to you. Let’s just say I am still working on some things, as I am always a work in progress
My priorities have shifted for certain. I am working to readjust my life to these priorities and start living a more engaged life. To be present. To not have my nose in my phone all the time (which is hard, because when my anxiety and depression is bad, I reach for my phone). To enjoy moments and spend time with the people I care about.
So, if I disappear from social media for a few days, or a couple of weeks, I am prioritizing myself. Living life off the Internet to gain some serenity. But, I always come back. I start to miss all my pocket friends and look forward to catching up with you all.
Remember, you are important and need to recharge your batteries every now and then, and there are people who enjoy seeing your face in real life. Get out there and show it off!