I Will Always be Sick

Always. Be. Sick.

I finally swallowed that, and it hurt.

I will always have depression (and anxiety). It may not rule my day to day, but it is always there.

It was a scary thing to say out loud to myself.

Let’s face it, mental illness is scary.

Why would I want to admit that I will always be sick AND afraid.

I did it though.

It hurt.

It sucks.

But allowing myself to feel that let me into myself. It allowed me to accept myself for who I am, flaws and all.

I know how strong I am, even when I don’t feel strong.

I know that I can persevere through some pretty rough times.

I know that being scared, vulnerable, and open are things I do NOT have to hide.

I know that if I need help, all I have to do is ask.

I know that it’s NOT my fault that my daughter is also mentally ill (I didn’t “give it” to her).

I know that at the core of my being, I am a strong, resilient, caring human who is just trying to live in this chaotic world the best she can.

I think we need to remind ourselves of that more often: we are doing the best we can.

So, try and take a step back and look at how far you’ve come.

You ARE doing the best you can, with what you’ve been given.

Be proud of that.