Keeping it Real

This is Mental Illness Awareness Week, and I decided that every day, on my personal Facebook page, I would write something about my experience with mental illness.

I did my “hey this is what I am doing” post on Sunday night.

I did “hey here are my meds” on Monday.

Today (Tuesday), well today was a rough day. One of those “it hurts to move and I don’t want to face the world” kind of days.

So, when I picked myself up out of bed I contemplated whether or not I would share it.

It took me until I got on the bus to be able to form a post that expressed how my day was going to be.

I don’t have these kind of days that often, now that I am medicated. But they still sneak in there.

I had told myself long ago that if I was going to be open about my mental illness that I had to share the good and the bad.

This felt/feels different. Sharing my experiences on my own personal Facebook page opens me up to everyone.

Being vulnerable and having such an outpouring of support does make the fight a bit easier….until I dig deep and my brain says “Hey, nice going attention whore.” Then I want to crawl back into a hole and stay there forever.

I have to remind myself that sharing the things I do is not an attention grab. I am sharing my journey, my good and my bad. Today was bad. Tomorrow may be a better day.

I keep telling myself this: People won’t know how hard it is to fight a mental illness if you don’t keep it real.

So, I’ll keep sharing. Sharing what is real in my life, and in my fight with a mental illness.

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