[This post was inspired by a friend of mine.]

I hear it all the time.  Goddammit I say it.  I say it knowing what is really going to happen in my head:  “Let it go.”

Well, what if you CAN’T let it go?

I bring this point of view from the ‘mental illness of me’ perspective:

• Depression and anxiety are voices
• Those voices whisper
• Those voices WON’T let it go

When the switch is flipped, it won’t turn off.  I can’t just let something go.  My brain will relive the words/a situation over and over, especially if it’s bad.  That shit feeds my brain like candy.

Out of the blue I will relive a moment that is not memorable to anyone, but because I may  have said something that wasn’t necessarily good (in my brain), the movie of that moment plays out, and is unfortunately memorable TO ME.  Not in a good way

This tends to happen right before I go to bed.  FUN.

Although, I gotta say that I really enjoy it when it happens at work.  Then I feel totally stoooopid.  Makes for a great day of supreme self doubt.  EXTREME SARCASM FONT.

My brain will release the vice grip every now and then and in that brief moment I can “let it go”.

In reality, my brain is really going through the hit list of Amy’s Awkward Moments.  It resets my top 5 every week, choosing various memories from my early childhood, to something that happened yesterday.  I know this and have fully accepted the rotating hit list.

So, if we could all try and use “let it go” a little less (unless you’re Elsa, and singing in a frozen castle), and try super awesome distraction methods instead, I think we could all avoid some pent up hostility.

Okay?

Okay.

Thanks 🙂

@crazymamaruns