[This post was inspired by a friend of mine.]
I hear it all the time. Goddammit I say it. I say it knowing what is really going to happen in my head: “Let it go.”
Well, what if you CAN’T let it go?
I bring this point of view from the ‘mental illness of me’ perspective:
- Depression and anxiety are voices
- Those voices whisper
- Those voices WON’T let it go
When the switch is flipped, it won’t turn off. I can’t just let something go. My brain will relive the words/a situation over and over, especially if it’s bad. That shit feeds my brain like candy.
Out of the blue I will relive a moment that is not memorable to anyone, but because I may have said something that wasn’t necessarily good (in my brain), the movie of that moment plays out, and is unfortunately memorable TO ME. Not in a good way
This tends to happen right before I go to bed. FUN.
Although, I gotta say that I really enjoy it when it happens at work. Then I feel totally stoooopid. Makes for a great day of supreme self doubt. EXTREME SARCASM FONT.
My brain will release the vice grip every now and then and in that brief moment I can “let it go”.
In reality, my brain is really going through the hit list of Amy’s Awkward Moments. It resets my top 5 every week, choosing various memories from my early childhood, to something that happened yesterday. I know this and have fully accepted the rotating hit list.
So, if we could all try and use “let it go” a little less (unless you’re Elsa, and singing in a frozen castle), and try super awesome distraction methods instead, I think we could all avoid some pent up hostility.