I’ve Been Absent

Photo courtesy of Bitmoji 🙂

I have found it hard to express everything I have been doing/feeling lately.

It dawned on me that this is what I should right about.

I haven’t been unable to run for a bit.  I injured my left calf when I attempted to bolt out of the apartment with my daughter’s lunch after she left early one Sunday morning for work and had left it on the floor.  That was before Thanksgiving (Canadian Thanksgiving, lol).  I have been in physio ever since, and was just cleared for fast walking.  I had my first DNS because of this injury, and I was not overly upset.

At 44 I am more concerned about being able to continue my running journey into my retirement years than I am about running a race.  I was more bummed that I had just planned my reboot and was sidelined in an instant, lol.

After fast walking, leg day!

Needless to say that since the onset of this injury, the schlump has been around.  I think every injured runner goes through it.  Lethargic, doing other activities hardheartedly (even though you really should suck it up and get at it), and just being absolutely miserable.  I could not get myself out of “that place”.  I tried other things to get me out of the schlumps, but no go.

It was like I was stuck in molasses.  When I talked about my racing stripes (physio tape) and where I was with this injury, I just wanted others to know I was in “that place”.  We all have been and will be. You’re cranky that you can’t run.  You don’t care about anyone else.  It’s very self centered really.  A selfish pity party.  I share my  pity parties because I think it’s important to let other runners know it’s okay to be in that frame of mind.  It’s human to feel that way.    I am not looking for anything, I just want to share the good and the bad.

(It also wasn’t helping that we are entering into Fall/Winter darkness.  That makes me want to hibernate.  Arrive home – enter PJs – become one with chair.)

I didn’t need inspirational quotes (we all know how much I LOVE those – see HERE). I didn’t need a motivational speech.  I didn’t want a “well it could be worse” blurb.

I needed to figure it out on my own.

Why On My Own?

Because unless I am going down the rabbit hole, I am the only person who can kick myself in the ass.  I know what my motivators are.  If I can’t kick myself in the ass, then I know something bigger is looming, and I ask for help.

Once I was able to start stretching and doing small amounts of activity, I started to feel better.

Now that I can do full on “Leg Day” (without explosive movements, not there yet) and fast walking, I am more optimistic.

I struggled with how to write this down without sounding like I was complaining.

I struggled with how to lift myself out of the schlump.

I struggled with how I was dealing with it.

I am struggling with how to remained focused on making myself a stronger runner before my half marathon training in January.

I Won’t Struggle For Long

Because I know what needs to be done.  I just need to sit down and plan it.

If I need to, I’ll ask for help.

I will get over this schlumpy schlump, hopefully better prepared for the next one 😉

@crazymamaruns